Missed Opportunities in Murree

Former planning minister Ahsan Iqbal and a leader of the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) and former Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) senator and a former spokesperson, Farhatullah Babar, sensing the political opportunities accruing from the Murree tragedy, have arranged a meeting between their respective chiefs, PML-N president Shehbaz Sharif and PPP hereditary-chairperson Bilawal Bhutto Zardari.

More than 20 people lost their lives, mostly due asphyxiation, being snowed while traveling to the holiday resort, despite forecast of heavy snowfall.

They meet in the Parliament House during the National Assembly session to plan an effective anti-government protest by the Opposition.

Shehbaz, who has had two stints as Punjab chief minister, starts the discussion, “I am heartbroken over the tourists’ deaths. I ask where was the government all the while? If I was chief minister, I would be in my Wellingtons and solar hat… yes, if I still had access to… in my brother, Nawaz’ secret hideout in Bhurban. It was our vacation home since 2014... then Imran Khan came, and we lost it. No one else was allowed to enter there. It belongs to Punjab government, so being sons of a great businessman and used to certain amenities, I sanctioned millions – say a small fortune -- to make it super luxurious.”

Bilawal retorts, “I tell you that we need to get rid of Imran Khan… yes, indeed, I would be vacationing there. Now tell me who watches TV for weather forecasts, when all these talk shows are there. It would have been better if the tourists were informed about the weather in Murree in advance, like by sending them notes by courier.

“You know our senator Mian Raza Rabbani – a former Senate chairman – says that Imran Khan should have stopped the inflow of people and vehicles into Murree. Like what are Rangers for… in fact, the army. I would be playing on my Sony Console and scolding people on Twitter, go home, now.

“What is the government’s excuse that ordinary hotels were charging around Rs 30,000 to 50,000 per room due to which people were forced to spend night in cars and get asphyxiated? My father would have negotiated with them to charge Rs 50,000 to 80,000 – with 25% going to our offshore accounts.”

“Okay, Bilawal, lets talk of getting the treasury keys back in our hands…”

“Indeed… yes. But what is your position… now your niece, Maryam, is a contender and her son, Junaid, too… what will be your and your son, Hamza’s situation… honestly, I too am worried, if Imran Khan stays too long, my sister Bakhtawar may recalibrate her son, Mir Hakim Mahmood Choudhry as Bhutto-Choudhry and challenge what is my birthright.”

“I think, we should draw a long-term program for taking turns… I believe you know that what is PDM (Pakistan Democratic Movement) … it is essentially Maulana Fazlur Rehman (head of Jamiat Ulema-I Islam-Fazal) and he is with us… he has all those madrassahs. He can give them vacation and bring them to our long march…”

“If you are counting on the Maulana, let me tell you, our Farhatullah has close ties with the Pashtun Tahafuz Movement (PTM). Yes, we have no standing in KP, but PTM can pour in people from Afghanistan, so our long march will the one…”

“Okay, let me tell you. Our inside sources tell me that your waderas from Thatta and Badin are holding back their haris (bonded farm labor) because March is sowing time for them. Our march is fixed for Pakistan Day, March 23.”

“What… you want to go against the will of the Exalted Grandson of Sublime Martyr and Omnipresent Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and son of Exalted Martyr Benazir Bhutto?”

“Mr. Bilawal, get your head fixed, now even the foreign funding case will achieve nothing against Imran, except the Election Commission may levy a penalty, which is confiscation of such contributions and donations.

“Your Bhutto is zinda (living) only in Sindh, and that too rural Sindh, but nowhere is he in Punjab, KP or Baluchistan… and agreements… your father left a sour taste with us when refused to honor our agreement…”

“Okay, Shehbaz there is no reason to drag my father in. Agreements are made to be broken. I tell you instead of bickering among us, we need to start work on our long march. I believe that our party should get the first opening to the treasury. As of now, we are just four, me, Bakhtawar and/or her son, and Aseefa… and you have the Nawaz and Shehbaz lines.”
“Fine, whatever. But our party knows it better…”

“Let’s stop bickering and set up a duly convened inquiry committee because no one can count on missed opportunities. We must steam back to power because this distance from the treasury keys is hurting both of us.”