Pitfalls of Parenthood

Prospective parents must realize parenting is serious business. They should approach it with the requisite sincerity and preparedness or they may ruin the child’s life and their own.

Children aren’t just extra mouths to feed. They need constant nurturing and demand sacrifices beyond time and money. Likewise, we should dispense with the view that parenthood is innately a joyful state, even as many parents cling to this notion as a psychological defence.

In 2011, researchers at the University of Waterloo found the cost of raising children brought significant mental discomfort to couples. Yet when prompted to focus on the delights of parenting, their anxieties dissipated. Fathers and mothers have, the study concluded, “collectively created a myth of parental joy.”

Regrettably, such a dewy outlook befogs the true breadth of this undertaking. Parenthood is no less a challenge than scaling the Himalayas. Anyone who believes the opposite may suffer from ignorance, willful or otherwise.

Without grasping the many challenges that await parents when rearing their young, crafting a navigational blueprint to sail through these murky waters is near impossible. Below, I list the common ones and suggest how to manage them.

Naturally, time management is your first and greatest test as a parent. The moment you alight from bed in the morning, a million things need your immediate attention. Besides a mother or father, you are a partner, a friend, an employee, even a boss.

While you may organize your daily tasks with such precision that slight detours don’t bring on bouts of hair-pulling, parenting adds many layers of complication. So, fussing when your clocklike schedule goes off the rails is pointless, more so if you’re caring for an infant. Instead, foresee it derailing now and again, and you’ll fare much better.

And since life intrudes when we least expect it, there may come a day when you must choose between an urgent business trip and attending your child’s first school play. When that happens, resist the urge to scold yourself. Just make it up to your child once you return. There is no perfect way to parenting; what’s necessary is doing your best.

The next challenge is spousal relationship. An oft-repeated maxim states parenthood completes a couple and enriches their marriage. But research published in Fortune magazine back in 2016 presented findings to the contrary. This investigationn spanning three decades, found most relationships suffer after couples have kids.