Dark Night Continues

The official six-page joint-statement highlighting 33 points issued at the conclusion of prime minister Imran Khan’s meeting with Chinese president X, prior to his departure for home, has created more than heartburns for the cadre of Pakistani journalists whose fingers had become knotted being kept crossed for four days that the China visit would be an embarrassment for Khan.

Hamid Mir (formerly of GeoNews), Saleem Khan Safi (Geo News. Islamabad), Sana Bucha (Geo News) and Asma Shirazi (Aaj News), and especially Najam Sethi, who had based his entire critique of the prime minister’s China visit, relying on Gharida Farooqi (NewsOne TV) as his proverbial whispering bird, are simply aghast over all what took place before Imran Khan boarded the flight for home.

They pile up in a SUV, which has been placed at their discretion by the Pakistan Muslim League-N (PML-N)vvv, and head to the NewsOne office.

Shirazi, flustered, if her condition could be expressed mildly, questions, “Gharida, you self-declared steel magnolia, why you put us all in this odd situation that President Xi will not meet with Imran Khan? I became so enthused that I was texting Maryam Nawaz, addressing her as prime minister!”

Sethi growls, “My audience will demand my bird’s head… and Saleem. You too! You raised our expectations sky high. I even forwarded my resume to Asif Zardari for ambassador to U.K.”

Safi mumbles, “Please… dear all… I had insiders… India has an excellent spy service, and they work throughly… Respected Najam Sethi… nothing in the world is free, even gift baskets. Like you, we too need to please the Sharifs and Zardari.”

Bucha looking haggard, whispers, “Gharida and all, it is a sad day. The United States is losing its very important strategic partner because they took Pakistan for granted especially under Imran’s leadership. Imagine if they will give us those fellowships now… like National Endowment Democracy… I was hoping for one.”

Shirazi, “Sana, don’t lose heart. Like Nawaz Sharif gave me free hajj, he can give free fellowships too….and Saleem, you had declared that Imran Khan had sold Kashmir. But the statement features some sharp language on Kashmir.”

Safi reacts angrily, “Asma, you forget. Wasn’t this spiel dictated to us by President Zardari?”

A still agitated Sethi asks, “Gharida, didn’t you get the Foreign Office message that protocol for multilateral events is different from bilateral visits; China's assistant foreign minister received all dignitaries to the Winter Olympics, including Russian President Putin.”

An even more angered Farooqi snaps, “I am a television anchor, not a foreign policy expert… And I was busy thrashing my maid to her bare bones, when I would look at messages.

“Yes, this is going to happen when he flies overseas in a Pakistan Air Force Gulfstream aircraft instead of a Boeing so he could have an excuse for not taking us with him. Did you see him sitting in a bus stop? So, I was so happy to see that the President Xi Jinping had met with president Putin and presidents of Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan and even the president of Egypt… and about the head of the United Nations. But nowhere we saw Imran Khan.

“Asma, I saw in it, your hopes of having Maryam Nawaz Sharif as our prime minister.

“And even these rotten NewsOne people who did not send anyone for the winter games in China.”

Shirazi offers, “Thank you Gharida. But some people are making fun of me that I misled them when not only Xi had a good session with him and Putin has invited him on an official state visit to Russia this month. I know Gharida, we can never admit that Imran Khan’s performance on the international front is ultra-pro-max.”

Shirazi heartlessly adds, “Another fallow attempt to rejoice goes sour. But rejoice Gharida, your tweets were viral, and the Indian media was tweeting about this like crazy. … I hope you are getting paid for this…”

Farooqi quickly adds, “India… poor Lata Mangeshkar has died… what a great singer… she sang the signature tune for Advani’s Rath Yatra….

“Asma, another sad news… Did you see it? We were so thankful about Zardari, Shehbaz, Bilawal and Maryam Nawaz lunch and here is Shahid Khaqan Abassi saying that the PMLN will contest the elections in Sindh against the PPP. Ah… the dark night will continue.”