British Imperial Pride

The news that Argentina is moving ahead with its plan to buy 12 Pakistani JF-17A Block III jet fighters for an estimated $664 million has agitated British prime minister Boris Johnson.
Consequently, he has summoned foreign secretary Liz Truss, defense secretary Ben Wallace, minister of state for housing Christopher Pincher, who administers British foreign policy regarding the Falkland islands, and national security adviser Sir Stephen Lovegrove. The island’s governor Nigel Phillips and chief executive Barry Rowland are on Zoom.

Johnson, who renounced his US citizenship four years ago, drawing his invitees’ attention, offers, “I presume that, besides being informed by the news media, you have been briefed by Sir Stephen that Argentina, which continues to claim Falkland is shaping to buy, not one but a dozen fighter jets from Pakistan. This is disturbing and we need to act.”

Ben Wallace adds, “Boris you are spot on, if Argentina had no ulterior motives why it wouldn’t buy our jets… fine they rejected offers from Russia, the United States and India…. These JF17 Thunders are like F16s…”

Lovegrove drawing attention to George Allison’s report in the UK Defense Journal offers that Pakistan is trying to benefit from its vote in favor of the UN Resolution stipulating that the continued existence of colonialism is incompatible with the ideal of universal peace held by the UN, which has relevance for the Falklands Islands issue. Our embassy informs that the chair of the Pakistani Senate has said of the relationship that Pakistan and Argentina have very close cooperation in various fields and unanimity of views on international issues.”

Truss, trying to calm nerves, states, “Boris, we can block Pakistan’s attempt to sell Argentina its JF-17s as one of its crucial components -- the ejection seat -- is made by our very British company, Martin-Baker.

“You remember that earlier, we vetoed the sale of South Korean fighter jets to Argentina citing an arms embargo imposed on after the 1982 Falklands war. The TA-50 contains, not only Martin-Baker ejection seats, but also landing gear made by Safran U.K.”

A worried Rowland asks, “What if they install other comparable components? We need to look at the political and military ramifications of having a sensor fusion enabled, networked, smart standoff munition and beyond visual range air combat equipped platform capable of long-range antishipping strikes with an AESA radar and IFR next to the Falkland Islands are huge… I see it as Buenos Aires’ attempt to retain influence over the islands. We are worried in the islands, when this 4.5 generation JF thing is Mach 2.0.

“I fear that Pakistan can argue that you sell arms to India, and we have no problem with that. Similarly, the U.K. should have no problem with us selling arms to Argentina. And Pakistan could argue that we are allies and we value our relationship, but business is business. So, no hard feelings.”

Rowland pauses and quickly adds, “The Islands’ population is mostly descended from Scottish and Welsh immigrants who settled in the territory around mid-1800s. Imagine if Scotland walks out of the union, and turns their compatriots there to claim the islands for Scots. We need to keep the Scots enslaved.”

A pensive looking Johnson almost whispers, “I suspect that France is encouraging this sale to revenge our submarine sales to Australia…”

Sit Stephen offers his opinion, “Perhaps, but it also seems to be revenge that we kept Pakistan for so long in Code Red simply to win our share in India’s market… and never placed India on that category despite this Indian variation… we now call it delta or what…”

“Boris, this Imran Khan is your friend. You take selfies with him… let’s start by doing the real thing. The Kiwis already backed out of their cricket tour; we too should excuse ourselves…”

Johnson gleeful at long last suggests, says, “I would rather pinch Imran where its hurts. First, we should utilize BBC contracting and let loose Pakistani BBC writers on Imran… for instance, Asma Shirazi is already doing a good job at soiling Imran… they can start attacking the sale that Imran selling jets to deny his own air force… We have Nawaz Sharif enjoying our hospitality, he needs to help too with this air force deprivation thing. The other prong of my attached is close to Imran’s heart. He still has liking for his former brothers-in-law, our environment minister Zac Goldsmith, and his brother Ben… I could announce that I am firing Zac and blame Imran for it. You bet, the next minute Zac would be imploring Imran to back off.

“Twisting truth, deceit and lying built British imperial pride and we are going to go ahead with it.”