Satire

Lawyers Are the Law!

Pakistan is the only nation in South Asia to have never had a female Supreme Court judge.

By Omer Bin Abdullah | September 2021


Feroz Khatputt, senior vice president of Bar Council's United Action Committee, has summoned a meeting of his flock to discuss the threat their community faces when judges are being appointed over their protests.

As a show of strength, they are meeting by the Supreme Court’s main gate. Of course, who cares if this encroachment is inconveniencing the public.

Khatputt, who is one who never lets go of the microphone once in his possession, declares, “Dear brother and sister lawyers, we are faced with similar challenges that confront journalists and opposition politicians, which is the loss of income and influence.

“I tell you that last week, I had some respect for Chief Justice Gulzar Ahmed. But it was gone after his remark about our protest of September 9 asking what the actual motive behind our agitation was. Don’t tell me that Mr. Justice… When did he forget that it was our birthright to select from within our community as to who would sit in the superior courts?

“Yes, we are never thankless, we have some truly great judges. Just look at [Lahore high court] Ali Baqar Najafi and Sardar Ahmad Naeem who took no second guess in allowing Nawaz sharif to go to London without furnishing any indemnity bond…”

Attorney Rustom Guddmud swiftly rises and adds, “My honorable leader, you missed mentioning the great judgement issued by Sardar Sarfaraz Dogar and Asjad Javed Gheral that National Accountability Bureau must notify 10 days in advance if it issues PML-N vice president Maryam Nawaz's arrest warrant…”

Khatputt continues, “My honorable friend, thank you for reminding that… indeed, our country is blessed with great legal minds…

“Certainly, we have seen great judgements such this Maryam Nawaz Sharif case, despite being a convict is granted bail on humanitarian grounds to look after her jailed father [PML-N founder and former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif] … and even though Nawaz Sharif is in London, but Maryam is not being called back to serve her time.

“All powers to lawyers… our legal fraternity has many a proud moment… we dragged judges of subordinate courts from their chairs, harassed and overawed female judges and even stormed a high court and threatened its chief justice with physical assault. And now what Justice Gulzar says that our say in judges’ appointment is irrelevant.

“I mean judges are above law, a judge cannot be judged. Naturally, they have seniority-based promotion system. As lawyers, we are one voice that seniority is essential even if a senior-most judge lacks the capacity, capability, acumen, or aptitude to be appointed as Supreme Court judge or if there is any other consideration for bypassing him.

“Now this woman… Ayesha Malik is being elevated to the Supreme Court… and what is the excuse for breaking the seniority rule… that Pakistan is the only nation in South Asia to have never had a female Supreme Court judge…

“Already, bad precedents have been set… Muhammad Ali Mazhar, fifth on the seniority list in Sindh High Court was elevated to the Supreme Court, while his senior, Ahmad Ali Sheikh was made an ad hoc judge of the apex court without his consent. This is a power grab by the Supreme Judicial Council…

“We cannot forego our hard-won right to dictate the appointment of judges. Isn’t this our unique marketing feature? Don’t our clients, especially our prospective clients get impressed when they know that this or that judge is a lawyers’ appointee.

“Let me a digress. I always had great respect for [Islamabad high court chief justice] Athar Minallah… who would ever forget that he and Mohsin Akhtar Kiyani in their October 2019 judgment asked Imran Khan to guarantee Nawaz’s life if he want to prevent his bail… but his judgement in lawyers’ housing-lots’ allotment case sounds of concern… now tell who among you would like to sit on the bench when you can’t be allotted housing-lots… and there is money in them? Is he losing his bearings?

“Did you all hear what attorney general Khalid Javed said that we… he means, us, the lawyers, should restore the customary dignity and nobility of the profession. What is dignity! Isn’t real nobility to strike hard to win? You all remember the Lahore incident in 2019, when an impudent doctor had the temerity of questioning a lawyer for jumping the patients’ line… what arrogance! Our brother lawyers taught the doctor… indeed all doctors… an unforgettable lesson…

“Dear brothers and sisters of the bar, we cannot let our bar down. We are not just lawyers; we are the law.”