Wars are the Engine of Economy

Mohammed bin Salman (MBS), the crown prince, deputy prime minister, and minister of defense of Saudi Arabia, also serves as chairman of the Council of Economic and Development Affairs and the Council of Political and Security Affairs.

Considering the alarming situation of the Yemen war-front, which he ignited in 2014, MBS has called in his military advisors because the kingdom has run out of its stock of the $1 million per piece Raytheon-made Patriot missiles.

Present in the meeting, aboard his $500 million superyacht, are Vehshi al-Abnawaa, chief defense analyst, and Fulan Al-Aldabue, chief logistics advisor for Operation Decisive Storm – the Yemen war. Among other things, the vessel features two helipads, a cinema theater, and an underwater viewing room – whose wall is adorned by Leonardo da Vinci’s $450 million masterpiece, ‘Salvator Mundi’ – the supposed likeness of Prophet Jesus that he can’t display in his kingdom.

A pensive MBS relates, “You know that President Bush’s Operation Desert Storm stretched 43 days when he kicked out Iraqi forces from Kuwait, so, inspired by this, I had code-named our Yemen war as Operation Decisive Storm. We have been at war since 2014, and 7 years on the Houthis remain unmoved.

“You know that during their presidential campaign, Biden had talked garbage against me. But his stance softened when I called him and praised the Abrahamic Accords. When he told me that Congress is passing an Accords compliance bill to assure all Arab states recognize and support Israel, I praised it even more. It worked! Biden has agreed to give me 280 Patriot missiles and 596 missile launchers for a mere $650 million!”

Al-Aldabue, seeks permission, and offers, “Your Royal Highness, no doubt, you are the best. I know some of the analysts are saying that this conflict pits $1 million Patriots against Houthi’s missiles which they classify as $10,000 ‘flying lawn mowers’... I think, it is a ploy to reduce our order when at a time when the U.S. is facing major labour shortages. I saw this on CNN that their Labour Department reported that some 4.4 million Americans – or roughly 3% of all their employed workers – quit their jobs in September.

“Your Royal Highness, Biden had blamed you, and the French have released a man held as suspect in the Khashoggi thing, citing an identity mix-up. This should have put him in a tight corner.”

MBS continues, “I also told Biden that he should ask Tamim [bin Hamad Al Thani, ruler of Qatar] to give me his Patriots because he has no use for his stock of hundreds, like he never used them when UAE, Bahrain, Egypt and I blockaded him.”

Al-Aldabue seeks permission and offers his insight, “Your Royal Highness, I would say that Biden is just playing to his left-wing friends because he also said that he is fully committed to supporting our territorial defense, including against Houthi missiles and drones, adding ‘We are working closely with the Saudis and other partner countries to ensure there is no gap in coverage’.”

MBS continues, “This is good to hear. But I am going to call Biden and ask that now that their Afghan war is over, so aren’t their arms factories sitting idle? So, instead of airing all this jargon, he should let these factories run just for me.”

Al-Abnawaa seeks permission and offers, “Your Royal Highness, please allow me to digress a little. Long ago, there was an advertisement for a shoe brand, probably in England, that the way to a man’s heart lies through his sole… you know like shoes have soles! I was coming around to say that the way to American hearts lies through oil.
Your Royal Highness could brush up President Biden’s memory that two years ago, a swarm of Houti missiles and drones temporarily knocked out half of our oil production.

“Our lobbyist in Washington tells me that according to the latest Reuters/Ipsos poll, less than half of Americans approve of Biden. Sure, he cannot earn more scorn when our oil can’t get there. Maybe he is upset that we made OPEC rebuff his request to boost output more aggressively to cool oil prices.”

MBS continues, “All things stated, I am going to tell Biden we are no lesser beings, if the United States could spend $3 trillion in Afghanistan, we have the right to spend as much in Yemen before coming home silently. You know that the United States has been at war for about 225 of the 243 years since its inception in 1776. And you see that they are at the top because wars are the engine of economy.”