Incomplete Compliance is Noncompliance

Bill S. 1061, which mandates encouraging the normalization of relations with Israel [by Arab and other countries] was moved in the U.S. Senate on June 24, 2021. However, UAE ambassador to the U.S. Yousef Al Otaiba had missed learning about it. It was so because their stealth lobbyist Tom Barrack, a billionaire ally of Donald Trump, had been arrested on foreign lobbying charges, the Department of Justice on July 20.

Trembling in his fine white merino wool dishdasha, Al Otaiba had forwarded the news to foreign affairs minister Abdullah bin Zayed who promptly handed it to his brother, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Zayed (MbZ).

The language was as clear as the sky on a sunny day in Dubai that this bill requires the U.S. State Department to take certain actions promoting the normalization of relations between Israel, Arab states, and other relevant countries and regions.

Specifically, the State Department must develop a strategy on expanding and strengthening the Abraham Accords (the term that refers collectively to agreements between Israel with the UAE and Bahrain marking the public normalization of relations).

MbZ, always steps ahead in submitting to Israel had established the United Arab Emirates Supreme High Committee on Abrahamic Accords Compliance. So, the immediate call went to Fulan al-Vehshi, the Committee’s special coordinator.

Al Otaiba had prudently flown his government’s Abrahamic Accords compliance consultant, Lilly Krukstein, president of Krukstein Advisors in his private jet to Dubai. She arrived in time as the Supreme High Committee was assembling to meet.

MbZ starts the meeting that includes her, his brother, Abdullah, and al-Vehshi, “You know, it is better late than never. We now know that [U.S.] Congress is passing this compliance law, so I want UAE to be more than a few steps ahead. You know that I had been forging better relations with Israel for years, which I, mostly kept private, even covert, but thanks to President Trump, and especially [his son-in-law] Jared Kushner that he gave us the Abrahamic Accords. Let us first hear from Lilly…”

“Your Royal Highness thank you for placing your trust in me. You cannot have a better expert in [Accords] compliance than me. During his time in Washington, Jared used to pray at the same synagogue as mine. So, I know what heart went into getting you all to comply. Thanks Yahweh that you all are now fully kosher! You all know that this bill is going to pass and Joe Biden will sign it the second it lands on his desk. And of course, the State Department will be relentless in assuring full compliance…”
“Lilly, I want to get A+ grades in compliance,” MbZ quickly informs.

“Indeed, You Royal Highness, this is what is expected, not As but A+ grades. I needn’t mention that Secretary [of State Antony] Blinken is stepson of a Holocaust survivor named Samuel Pisar. You can imagine how his stepdad’s Holocaust survival story has instilled in him the importance of maintaining America’s status as a beacon of freedom. Like, I know that you have already started daily non-stop Emirates flights between Dubai and Tel Aviv… is it just one flight? I would say that it should be at least two daily…”

MbZ again quickly offers, “Sure, I will get Ahmed [bin Saeed Al Maktoum, Emirates Group CEO] going on this…”

“Your Royal Highnesses, just a little aside. Yes, I love President Trump, but President Obama laid the seeds of these Accords, and Trump took the credit. Obama’s plan and in fact, our plan is that with Israel atop, we can stop worrying about the Middle East…”

“Oh, Lilly, really! I mean with us, and all of us [Saudi Arabia and other Gulf states] at the helm, America never needs to worry. Don’t they know that what Britain created us for?”

“You are right, Your Royal Highness. Another thing, I would recommend is that UAE adopts all, at least all the major Jewish holidays, Pesach (Passover), Shavuot (Feast of Weeks, or Pentecost), and Sukkot (Tabernacles); and the High Holidays, Rosh Hashana (New Year) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement).

“Your Royal Highness, the bill also says that the Secretary of State will provide evidence of steps taken by Arab governments toward permitting or encouraging normalized relations between their citizens or residents and Israeli citizens.”

“Lilly don’t worry. We are ahead here too. Last November, we ended criminalization of sex out of wedlock, so citizens of our two countries are enjoying closer ties. I know that incomplete compliance is noncompliance.”