Satire

$ocracy is the best Democracy

Being held from December 9 to 10, the 'Summit for Democracy' is less about democracy and more about our worldview, interests, and exclusions.

By Omer Bin Abdullah | December 2021

President Joe Biden invited more than 100 countries, including major Western allies but also Iraq, India, and Pakistan, to his virtual “Summit for Democracy,” which was held from December 9 to 10. The conference was his campaign pledge, as he claims to have placed the struggle between democracies and “autocratic governments” at the heart of his foreign policy.

Pakistan declined to participate, with Prime Minister Imran Khan saying that Pakistan does not desire being part of any political bloc but instead wants to play its role in bridging gaps between the U.S. and China.

Biden’s summit has cold war written across its brow, and conservatives, despite being dismissive of him, are joyful of cold war prospects.

The fiercely conservative One America News Network’s Dan Ball who hosts Real America talk show, has invited D. R. “Don” Tarthard, PhD, senior vice president, American Century Institute for National Security and Foreign Policy, to discuss the summit’s cold war linkage.

Ball briefly introduces his guest and starts, “Dr. Tarthard, you may have read that Pakistan declined being part of Biden’s Summit, and their prime minister Imran Khan said that they don’t want to be a part of any bloc but instead wants to bridge gaps between the U.S. and China. How do you see it?”

“Dan, thank you for alerting me to Pakistan’s reason for refusing Biden’s invitation. You know, we share a visceral hate for Biden, but I… we must appreciate that he is working to form a bloc… and that too a 100 plus countries bloc. I am sure, Xi (Jinping, Chinese president), seeing Taiwan and not him being invited, is intelligent enough to know that we are in Cold War mode.

“I am sure this would create more jobs than what Biden is calling Build Back Better. Our military expenditures during the Cold War years, which we won were between $8 to 9 trillion. As you know that war ended December 1989. So, considering the passage of time, the 9 trillion of the 80s is like $30 plus today. When we spent a mere $3 trillion in the Afghan war, this China centered campaign will inject much more in the war industry.”

“Dr. Tarthard, so you are saying that if we had this Second Cold War on, we wouldn’t have needed this Build Back circus?”

“Exactly, Dan. First a macro thing about the Build Better and cold war. You know that nearly 100,000 American military died in the Korean and Vietnam wars. Consider the turnover it created for the funeral industry and the art and technology of readying bodies for the showing it helped generate.

“This Carnegie report had already told that the summit is less about democracy and more about our worldview, interests, and exclusions. Like, Biden invited Brazil even though its far-right president, Jair Bolsonaro is criticized for having an authoritarian bent and was a firm Trump supporter.

“We had under evaluated China, we were too engrossed in ourselves. Like Time Magazine’s special issue Beyond 2000 had declared that China cannot grow into an industrial giant in the 21st century. It said that their population is too large and the gross domestic product too small. We assumed that most Chinese did not have enough money to buy advanced technology products -- let alone the resources to invent them. But now China’s rapid rise to challenge our dominance of technology’s commanding heights has drawn our attention. They have displaced us as the world’s top high-tech manufacturer like in computers, automobiles, and smartphones. There are people who say that China will overtake us within the next decade.

“So, what is the answer? Start a war, even a cold war to provide the growth impetus.

“Never forget that during the first cold war we forged ahead in putting a man on the moon. Nearly $3.2 trillion was spent on a plethora of deployment systems, when we perceived the bomber gap of the late 1940s and early 1950s, in response to the first Soviet atomic test in August 1949.

“Our war industry is our savior. The more they sell, the more they spend on politicians. Money is the driving force of our democracy. Like in 2018 midterm election cycle was the first and only member of the $5 billion club.”

“Dr. Tarthard, in refusing President Biden’s invitation, Imran Khan said that Pakistan can play a role in bridging the differences between China and us and reducing tension and he would like to stop the situation going toward a new Cold War.”

“Dan, I just pointed out the vital connection between our democracy and money. We believe that $ocracy is the best democracy.”