A Case of Rs. 1.61 Billion.......Only!

The National Accountability Bureau’s (NAB) arrest of Sindh Assembly Speaker Agha Siraj Durrani in a case pertaining to owning assets beyond means and corruption, after he surrendered on the Supreme Court's orders, has necessitated a meeting called by Pakistan People Party chairman Asif Ali Zardari at his Bilawal House, Clifton, Karachi residence.

His meek crew arrayed on floor: Sindh chief minister Murad Ali Shah, and provincial information minister Saeed Ghani, information minister Nasir Hussain Shah, Karachi administrator and adviser to chief minister on law and environment Murtaza Wahab Siddiqui and advocate general Salman Talibuddin. Also, arrayed on the floor is Sen. Sherry Rehman.

As they eye him enter, they stand attention, raise their fists, bang their chests three times and shout Bhutto Zinday Hayy (Bhutto Lives).
Zardari takes his place on his gold seat, lights his cigarette, and gestures them to return their posteriors where they belong.
The first to face the music is Salman Talibuddin.

Eyes fuming, Zardari snaps, “Salman, the world wants to know why NAB moved against our dear Agha Siraj [to boot, a son-in-law of venerated former chief minister Syed Qaim Ali Shah]. And not just that but also why Sindh high court did not grant him pre-arrest bail. Salman, you are a shame… while we see that even after convictions, Lahore and Islamabad high courts give bails to Nawaz Sharif and his daughter, Maryam and what not.

“And all this NAB drama on a mere Rs 1.61 billion assets and corruption…”

Talibuddin is standing head bowed as everyone springs to attention and rises as Bilawal takes a shortcut to his game room.

As they rearrange themselves on the floor, Zardari continues, “Salman, you are not short of good examples. We have our dear Sharjeel Inam Memon whom the Sindh high court barred NAB from arresting him in connection with two inquiries, including one related to Rs 5.76 billion corruption in the Sindh Information Department. Our great son of Sindh lives between London and Dubai, has a long and mafia-pride record of corruption.

“You know how he got things normalized. He simply neutralized NAB assistant director Muhammad Umair who ‘lost’ the incriminating pages from his files. How much it costs to buy a grade 18 or 19 officer! And that wouldn’t have gone out of your pocket or Agha Siraj’s… what is the 18th Amendment for… bill it to the Sindh government.

“The system is on our side; the maximum service punishment for such pilfering is dismissal from service... who needs a pension when you make money for a few future generations with a file swipe!

“At least, you could have asked me. Oh, Wajid Shamsul Hasan of sainted memory… as our high commissioner in U.K., he disappeared all incriminating files connected to my Swiss cases.

“In a world of Imran Khan, we need more Wajid Shamsul Hasans and Sharjeel Inam Memons. I am totally disappointed that Agha Siraj never paid attention to the examples of our party’s illustrious sons… what sons, even our illustrious daughters… our Sherry Rehmans of bank defaults, our Sharmila Faruqis of denuding Pakistan Steel Mills of $1.95 billion.

“Yes, there is no shame to learn even from the smallest creatures. Indeed, we must keep Nawaz Sharif’s party off balance… they have more throne contenders that I have… Maryam [Nawaz], Hamza [Sharif], Junaid [Safdar]… and of course, the perpetual Shehbaz Sharif, but there is nothing wrong in using them.

“Sherry, you know Maryam has a full library of incriminating videos and audios. Could you deftly inquire if she has any helpful material or better still, ask if she can get us a few done on Sindh high court judges? For the love of our dear Syed Qaim Ali Shah, we can’t let Agha Siraj down, especially when the speakership is endowed to his lineage.

“Murad, you have the liberty of the 18th Amendment, so go ahead and name the MPAs Hostel as Shaheed Zulfikar Ali Bhutto Memorial MPAs Hostel. That will make these nosy judges think a few times before touching our Agha Siraj.”

Murad Ali Shah, almost choking out of fear, offers, “Our Beloved Master, NAB also has case against Agha Siraj about the bungling in construction of the new Sindh Assembly building…”

“Murad, at least, have some initiative. Name it the Shaheed Benazir Bhutto New Sindh Assembly building. Simply, put the ball in the judges’ court.

“Agha Siraj is our pride… a role model… in these harsh times, he was still making his cut. Pakistan is not fit for living, just ruling, and extracting its juice.”