Afghanistan Has to Keep Paying

All the 24 female senators from both parties, led by led by Sens. Shelley Capito and Dianne Feinstein, have gathered in the Senate Dining Room, where it seems like a cackle day.

Arrayed on the left of the combined table are Republicans Marsha Blackburn (Tenn.), Susan M. Collins (Maine), Joni Ernst (Iowa), Deb Fischer (Neb.), Cynthia M. Lummis (Wisc.), Lisa Murkowski (Ark.) and Cindy Hyde-Smith (Miss.). On the right are Democrats Tammy Baldwin (Wisc.), and Maria Cantwell (Wash.), Tammy Duckworth (Ill.), Kirsten E. Gillibrand (N.Y.), Margaret Wood Hassan (N.H.), Mazie K. Hirono (Hawaii), Amy Klobuchar (Minn.), Catherine Cortez Masto (Nev.), Patty Murray (Wash.), Jacky Rosen (Nev.), Debbie Stabenow (Mich.), Jeanne Shaheen (N.H.), Kyrsten Sinema (Ariz.), Tina Smith (Minn.), and Elizabeth Warren (Mass.).

Hosts Democrat Feinstein and Republican Capito (W.Va.) are head of the table. They are gathered to discuss their letter to Biden asking him to develop a plan for the dire situation that now faces Afghan women and girls.

Sinema takes the lead and submits, “First of all we need a toast for the CNN journalists Anna Coren, and Jessie Yeung. If they had flinched and instead of reporting, had stepped forward to pay the poor father’s debt and ensured the little girl’s freedom, we would have never found that the Afghan women and girls face such situations. These Afghans should be thanking our taxpayers that the women there have… had a green zone. A little America!”

Blackburn suggests, “We need another toast for our brave service persons who fought for 20 years for the freedoms of the green zone. I agree that Trump has a tendency of getting bored quickly… look, he is on his third marriage… and, Biden picked up the baton and withdrew instantly but we should have negotiated to keep the green zone… our piece of America!”

Sinema quickly adds, “Yes… not just women and girls, the LGBTQIA+ are endangered too… I mean, these poor folks… I am especially thinking of the ones whom we can’t supply free Viagra anymore… They are being deprived! Isn’t it a cause for the UNHCR?

“Am I digressing here? Did you hear how perturbed Angelina Jolie that her ‘Eternals’ was pulled from Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Qatar because Disney bravely declined to censor the ugly scene…”

Warren is quick to add, “Ah, the thankless lot. We just approved a $650 million sale of air-to-air missiles to the Saudis…”

Sinema continues, “Otherwise, their Yemen war could be like a deflated balloon. What I was saying that the Afghans will surely do the same. So, America and Angelina are already losing millions of dollars in royalty in these three countries and Afghanistan to come.

“You know guys, I am taking another Joe’s advice [former Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, a longtime Democrat, now an independent, lobbying on behalf of the dark-money group No Labels] who said that our Joe [Sen. Manchin, D-W.Va.] and I should keep obstructing Biden’s Build Back Better legislation. I could settle for Biden going back there and reenacting the green zone. I mean all those Afghani lovelies dressed in our American labels and shopping in Saks Fifth Ave… Whole Foods… and all."

Fischer offers, “Why are these Taliban moaning! Didn’t they promise that women would be treated well under the new government and are not upholding those commitments only because we and our ISAF (International Security Assistance Force) partners… like 36 countries… are withholding their funds in our banks. So, they don’t have food and are selling their girls.

“Does Israel ever do it? They get AIPAC guys working on the [Capitol] Hill for their funds. The Taliban are crybabies. Don’t they grow enough walnuts to eat…Walnuts are rich in heart-healthy fats. What's more, regularly eating walnuts may improve brain health, which they need most to understand things like our women’s fashions are the best and gays are great… like our transportation secretary [Pete Buttigieg].”

Klobuchar is quick to add, “Don’t we miss [former president] Ashraf Ghani he had papers showing some 3.5 million girls were in school in Afghanistan last year. Fine… he ran away a few loads of cash…

“I’d go the French way… [president] Macron doesn’t want a penny to go the Taliban till they lift the ban on Afghan women flaunting their bikinis at their country’s beaches…”

Capito and Feinstein raise their wine glasses, and declare in unison, “Yes, Amy that’s awful… no bikinis at beaches! We’ll back Biden starving them into allowing full freedom to dress like us… and it must be the cheeky, and not moderate or full kind. I mean we can even write a bill to subsidize our American bikinis for these women to enjoy their beaches.”

Gillibrand is quick to add, “Shelley and Dianne, not so easy… they first sign their the country's endowments of iron, copper, lithium, rare earth elements, cobalt, bauxite, mercury, uranium, and chromium to our mining corporations. We spent $3 trillion their and Afghanistan has to keep paying.”

The dining room’s check drops and place 24 credit cards in the cup!