Let the Devil Take the Hindermost

Don Bongadale, a clinical psychologist, had been stressed and none of his prescriptions were working for him. The issue was that he was finding hard to budget for the engagement ring eyed by Penny Fattington, his partner of five years, a 2 carat diamond solitaire ring by Tiffany & Co., which retails for $45,000. He was already financially extended with college loan repayment, and loans he had taken to start a mortgage, and of course he had set a budget for his wedding.

A flickering neon sign outside his clinic, but partially visible from his chair, announced, "You Should See a Shrink Today." Since many days, his thought had centered on the presently elusive ring that news flashed on his cellphone about State Department officials how the strain and chaos of the Afghan evacuation broke them psychologically as they were not used to failure at State, and in every single possible circumstance, it was failure.

Wow! It was his eureka moment. He could make a fortune fixing affected minds at the State Department. After all, they are connected to a failed $3 trillion war and naturally they need some high expense treatment. Smiling to himself, he whispered to himself, ‘Hey Penny, look out for Don, the Shrink for State, on bended knee with that Tiffany box!’

That night, he wrote a formal solicitation for the State Department seeking to heal their affected officials. Laying out his treatment plan, he explained that he would tailor his approach based on their levels, like those in positions beyond GS-15 (the senior executive service) would get far more nuanced treatment than GS-13 to GS-15 (top-level supervisory positions), and GS-8 to GS-12 (mid-level positions) would need personal guilt and imposed guilt syndrome treatments.

The department’s contracts supervisor, Junemay Dribbs, herself a GS-12, agreed that the level of shock is responsibility related, finding that Bongadale’s offer of $50,000 per patient was reasonable, and so was the $100,000 per patient package for the GS-15 and beyond.

Bongadale had reminded that former Secretary of State Pompeo had shared that the Department's workforce “is our most valuable asset. We need our men and women on the ground, executing American diplomacy with great vigour and energy, and representing our great nation.”

Dribbs was most impressed when the good doctor said that the officers at State must be depressed at finding that they have lost a venue where they could fly and expense accounts, get hazardous duty pay, and of course have a whale of time in ‘Little America’, formally known as Bagram Base. Just imagine the excruciating pain of losing hazardous duty or duty involving a physical hardship hazardous venue allowances. Such deprivation could mean missing out a cruise or upgrading their kitchen.

“Junemay, you know the scenario, the wife and kids not pleased that there won’t be a ski vacation in Switzerland in the coming year. And the consequences are that you have an emotionally drained out of federal employee, a less than half-heartedly focused employee.

“You know like officials were unclear of their own authorities and what policies they were allowed to employ to help evacuate people. Imagine how it all triggered mental health issues for some staffers, from which, surely some must be still attempting to recover, months later.”

“Yes, Dr…”

“Junemay, you call me Don.”

“Yes, Don, the State Department is most pleased over your assessment of mental health needs, and above all your initiative to walk us through your proposal.”

“Junemay, and like Secretary Pompeo, Secretary of State Blinken said that the Department’s top priority was the health, safety and well-being of department personnel and their families.

“You know that in a losing situation, like we have had in Vietnam and now Afghanistan, the desperation and disorganization consumed frontline State Department employees.

“Like you know that we’re not used to failure at State, and you can image your officers, feeling in every single possible circumstance, it was failure. You know how much time will be required for evaluating your officers and working out patient specific treatment programs.”

“Don, I can see how your program will work for us. I mean these thousands of people in Afghanistan had come to believe that we would never leave and eventually the $3 trillion we had spent would double and so would their intakes too. While some had got their American and European real estate portfolios started, others were advancing toward such a future. Imagine the stress accrued by way of dealing with deprived people. I know our folks are having manic depressions and complete mental breakdowns… they are walking straight to the lunchroom and weeping into their lunchboxes… the Afghanistan withdrawal has damaged us emotionally.”

“Yes, Junemay, the moment, I pick the signed contract and the down payment check, Don Bongadale, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist and psychotherapist will get down to reviving all pinheads at State that their job is to attain all for themselves and just let devil take the hindermost.”

On way to his clinic, Don Bongdale stops at Tiffany’s to caress the ring destined for Penny.