Destroying Party Discipline

Pakistan Peoples Party’s (PPP) inheritance-based co-chairman Asif Ali Zardari being driven home after obtaining another health-based permanent bail – this one related to his New York City real estate acquisition case is not in a mood normally associated with people who get permanent bails based on staged health situations.

Earlier when he sat for breakfast, as MNA Sherry Rehman poured tea in his cup, while Sindh MPA Shehla Raza added milk, and MNA Dr. Nafisa Shah spooned in the sugar, that an excited former senator and former spokesman, Farhatullah Babar recited on the authority of Asma Shirazi (FaislaAapKa, AajTV current affair program) and Saleem Safi (columnist and anchor/analyst Geo News/Jang) that Imran Khan’s party, PTI (Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf) was splitting as defense minister Pervez Khattak was reportedly loudly criticizing party policies in a cabinet meeting.

Upon his return, the retinue and more received him and were about to continue with their joyful analysis, that the chief spoke, “Farhatullah, I understand you all need to fulfill your daily brownie points quotas, but the driver bringing me home, had put on the radio and the reporter there was saying that (PTI MNA, parliamentary secretary, law and justice, Barrister) Maleeka Bukhari demolished this news because being a democratic party, everyone there has freedom of speech and permission.

“Are you folks in your senses? Are you bubbling over this so you too can be allowed such blasphemy? Do you want to hurt the souls of the Sublime Martyr and Omnipresent Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and the Exalted Martyr Benazir Bhutto?

“Praise be the souls of Generals Ayub Khan and Ziaul Haq that they blessed the Bhuttos and the Sharifs to found dynasties – the only ones genetically-endowed to rule. For three decades, we have ruled Pakistan… I mean we just Sindh and Sharifs, now nothing… the axis of our politics is power.

“Yes, I was there… right on the National Assembly floor, this young girl from Dera Ghazi Khan… Zartaj Gul had the temerity to speak to Imran, sitting on the same bench… looked like passing him some advice. It is disgusting to see PTI members openly speaking in front of their leader. Shameful! Don’t any of you ever dare take such liberties with the true heirs of the Sublime Martyr and Omnipresent Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and the Exalted Martyr Benazir Bhutto.

“Farhatullah… you may be 77… [veteran senator] Raza Rabbani, a bit younger… but you all need to remember your place. This silly upstart in politics… Imran… is uprooting our democratic system. Imran is letting in riff raff like this Zartaj, daughter of a retired engineer.

“Some may call Imran a neophyte [in politics], I call him an idiot. He keeps harping that he spent more than two decades building his party. So! What next? Agreed, his first divorce, resulted in his sons getting raised in London and they won’t come back to inherit the party. But what about his nephews… he has three sisters. I have just two and you know, your station when they manifest in your presence.

“You all need to observe your etiquette… only one descended from our Sublime Martyr and Omnipresent Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and the Exalted Martyr Benazir Bhutto bears the right to rule. Your job is to hear and obey… and of course, present moneymaking opportunities to the rightful scions.

“You know, our Exalted Martyr… Benazir used to reminisce that when she used to pray, she always placed in front, the turbah – the cube of Karbala clay. I am ordering that all our members will be required to place the bhuttobah, which will be the cube made from clay from Garhi Khuda Bakhsh… in fact, only from around the graves of our Sublime Martyr and Omnipresent Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and the Exalted Martyr Benazir Bhutto. You may question where will be get so much… I say even .00001% of sacred clay mixed with any… in fact clay from our French estate, the Manoir de la Reine Blanche (Manor of the White Queen), the 16th-century chateau, built for King Philippe VI’s widow, that we bought nearly 40 years ago.

I have yet to overcome the shame that at a meeting of our central executive committee, a couple of uncouth… to boot, waderas… had the temerity to attempt question their natural leader [hereditary chairman] Bilawal [Bhutto Zardari] when he ordered holding an anti-government long march.

“Enough is enough. Can’t ever allow destroying party discipline. To ensure enforcement, I am also declaring myself, the Makhdoom of Bhutto Mahal… of course, graves generate much nazrana (tributary gifts).”