Oh, I See!

It is after 41 years that a meeting of the Organization of Islamic Cooperation (OIC) is being held in Pakistan.

The OIC member countries foreign ministers and representatives of P5+ (The P5+1 refers to UN Security Council's five permanent members (the P5); namely China, France, Russia, the UK, and the U.S., plus, Germany and the European Union) are meeting in Islamabad to discuss the Afghanistan situation. In fact, such a meeting has never happened in Pakistan’s history.

The situation has perturbed not only India, but also Asif Ali Zardari, chairman of the Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) and the Sharif family, owners of the eponymous Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N).

Understandably, Zardari is perturbed that someone who he slights as a political neophyte has scored this big. He called Nawaz Sharif in London, and they have set up a meeting with Zardari and his and Sharifs party leaders and several selected journalists meeting at Bilawal House, Clifton, Karachi, while Nawaz and former finance minister Ishaq Dar on zoom from London.

Besides his son, Bilawal, the PPP delegation includes former ambassador Sherry Rehman, Punjab leader Qamaruzzaman Kaira, and Sen. Yousuf Raza Gilani, also a former prime minister. Besides party president Shehbaz and vice-president Mayran Nawaz Sharif, the PML-N delegation includes former prime minister Shahid Khaqan Abbasi, former information minister Maryam Aurangzeb, and former minister Ahsan Iqbal.

The invited, rather to say, put in dock, journalists are Asma Shirazi, who hosts the talk show, “Faisla Awam Ka”, Saleem Safi who hosts Jirga, a current affair talk show on Geo News, and Najam Sethi who hosts his eponymous talk show on 24 News.

The count of overflowing ashtrays sitting at his table, conveys Zardari’s state. He right away lets off on Nawaz, “My friend, you are hiding in London, leaving all the heavy lifting on me. See what a show [prime minister] Imran Khan has put up. Islamabad is closed for three days with more than 150 delegates from 54 countries and P5+1 envoys are attending…”

Maryam Aurangzeb can’t hold back and let her leader get roasted, snipes, “Absolutely wrong! Imran Khan has absolutely nothing to do with it. In fact, my Beloved Leader Maryam had invited these ministers to attend her son Junaid Safdar's wedding, but you know this incompetent government delayed their visas. You know that Qatar is my Great Leaders, the Sharifs’ second home. So, Sheikh Mohammed bin Abdulrahman Al-Thani, the deputy prime minister and foreign affairs minister had attested these invitations.”

Never to be left behind, Ahsan Iqbal duly adds, “Nawaz Sharif laid this meeting’s foundation when General Ziaul Haq appointed him Punjab finance minister…”

Nawaz sharply asks, “My brother Asif Zardari, your son was calling Imran incompetent all the time… which made us take off our guard…”

Bilawal quick to his defense, declares, “Dad, you know I am a certified innocent, even by the Supreme Court. I only read what Aunty Sherry writes for me in Romanized Urdu. Not my fault… You should ask Uncle Nawaz not to scold me…”

Zardari, trying to dampen his rage, asks, “Oh, yes, Nawaz you are blaming my child, Bilawal, but what about Shahid [Khaqan Abbasi] who has been saying that for the first time in 74 years Pakistan is suffering from diplomatic loneliness… STOP blaming my baby!”

Nawaz retorts, “But my brother Asif, you misled us, and we too took off our guard as you said it is an inexperienced government… and lo and behold, he gathers dozens of foreign ministers in Islamabad. You remember, I was also foreign minister while being prime minister.”

Before Sen. Gilani could mumble permission to talk, Ahsan Iqbal has the floor and adds, “Let us not fight among ourselves. These journalists sitting here, also deserve the blame. Here is Asma Shirazi who was nonstop gives us news about Imran’s government ending… And Saleem Safi tell us that Imran Khan’s mother cannot pray for him as she is dead… Najam [Sethi] leads us to daydream…”

Asma Shirazi snaps, “But free government-paid Hajj has to be repaid and daily. I just do my job.”

Zardari, puffing cigarettes faster than rabbits chomp carrots, offers, “Our hope had arisen in America when Imran refused Biden’s summit invitation, but here he has sent his envoy to the OIC event. I feel pained that OIC may sanction aid for Afghanistan, but Imran has no experience in creating the siphon… only Asif Zardari could siphon it all to his offshore accounts which are more deserving than the Afghans.”