India is Weapons Opportunity

United States interim ambassador to India Atul Kishap is on Zoom call with Secretary of State Blinken following his tweet that he had good discussion with Mohan Bhagwat, 6th Sarsanghchalak (party chief) of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS).

“Secretary Blinken, indeed we had a wonderful meeting and discussed how India's tradition of diversity, democracy, inclusivity, and pluralism can ensure the vitality and strength of a truly great nation.”

“Atul, that is a good move, especially the Afghan thing off, our friends at Raytheon, Lockheed and all are seeing red.”

“Yes, Secretary, immediately after having the first round of gao mutra…”

“O my Yahweh… that…”

“Yes, Secretary, you know prime minister’s Modi’s favorite beverage is de rigueur… you can always hint a twist of lemon with it… so after we had clinked our glasses, I brought up the issue of their buying the French Rafale jets, while our F-35 have the stealth advantage… he seems to be quite up to date with the defense purchases… he said that they love the F-35’s but it employs advanced radio communications equipment, which renders it incompatible with their Russian-origin communication suites.”

“Atul, you need to go again for a few rounds of gao mutra… of course with a twist of lemon… You know this beauty is Lockheed Martin and Northrop Grumman with BAE Systems’ supplied Marconi Selenia Communications.

“They are sitting on $400 billion and still use the creaking Russian system… give him a good talk about the Marconi.”

“Secretary Blinken, I certainly will. He kind of expressed more than disdain that 49 American universities had organized this ‘Dismantling Global Hindutva’ conference, particularly with sessions like ‘Islamophobia, White Supremacy, and Hindutva’… yes, he was incensed that some people are saying that Hindutva is not Hinduism. In fact, he shook his fist so hard that his gao mutra nearly splashed on me… He said that go ask Secretary Blinken what any self-respecting Jew would feel if he were told that Judaism and Zionism are not the same…”

“Atul, we need to send a strong message to India through Mr. Baghwat that the United States makes no difference in its love toward the two I’s… Israel and India…”

“Yes, Secretary Blinken, I did convey this sentiment to him. Surely, he is going to relate to prime minister Modi… this word going to Modi through him bears more weight as RSS is much older than the [ruling] BJP, which has close ideological and organizational links to it.

“He very proudly… in fact, he patted me on the back several times that in the Afghan war we also took out 70,000 Pakistanis… and of course the equal number of Afghans and the triple the number of Iraqis… he is very inimical to Muslims. He repeatedly alerted me to the 180 million Muslims that are in his country… he said that his understanding of diversity is the several castes among Hindus, which he said works if each caste remains within its bounds. He expressed great appreciation that caste bias isn’t illegal in the United States. But he is apprehensive of the future when Brandeis will ban caste discrimination. I assured him that it is a rare case… of course, he did not miss reminding me that his country has $400 billion cash reserve.

“Secretary Blinken, we also talked a bit about 9/11, and he expressed great admiration for the way we voided Osama Bin Ladin getting a proper burial and this is which inspired the action taken to void Syed Ali Geelani… you know that Kashmir guy who kept declaring that Kashmiris are Pakistani, and Kashmir will be Pakistan… getting a burial. I assured him that we will continue to treat the human rights situation with Kashmiris the same way we treat Palestinian human rights… hearing this, he again clinked his glass of gao mutra with mine…

“Mr. Baghwat reminded me that his organization has been in forefront to serve the society and uphold the values and principles of Bharatiya Paramapara, which you know means the Atul heritage of Ancient India… stressing on the meaning of Bharatiya Paramapara, he reminded that ancient India had Hindus alone… and this is their view of inclusivity and pluralism… Hindus living in their caste statuses.

“Secretary Blinken, Mr. Baghwat reviewed his organization’s nation building work. He shared with me videos of school children dressed in white and saffron rushing toward a huge poster of the Babri Mosque… the 700-year-old mosque they destroyed and are building a Hindu temple in its place, while a narrator says: “With enthusiasm, Hanuman bhakts with Hanuman’s anger, bring down Babri structure… and kids roared ‘Shri Ramachandra ki, Jai!’ (Hail Shri Ramchandra) tearing up the poster and cheered on stage, as the poster was replaced by a Ram Temple poster.”

“Atul, did they have international bidding for this temple? You know we have great American contractors…”

“Secretary Blinken, Mr. Baghwat was wondering why we don’t stage such plays for our kids… like the great Iraq bombing…

“I assured him that our nation building is in the for-profit sector like the Christian universities… Liberty University and all…

“Mr. Baghwat was much elated by my meeting with him and assured me that he would be talking to Modi about the F35s. Bidding me a fond goodbye, he reiterated that India is weapons opportunity.”