Feature 
 

Parenting Explained

Parenting characterized by inconsistent, rigid or irritable discipline
is closely related with the development of the child’s future personality.
It has to be done with care.

By Areeba Tayyab | May 2020


It was indeed a sad incident for me when, for a whole month, I kept seeing my students running and eating in the playground. As a teacher, I stopped them over and over again but all in vain. I saw that this was not just a rush of the moment, but it seemed as they had an innate capacity for it. They were certainly not comfortable sitting and eating.

This takes us to the very essence of parenting in the past where doing such a deed was considered a horrific situation. But to blame the new generation for the end of parenting is again an understatement. Somehow, our elders are somewhat responsible for the parenting done today. As shocking and cruel it might seem, but one cannot deny that today’s parents are children of the parents of “the real age”. There might be some problematic experiences in the past that resulted in a problematic present.

To play the blame game is comparatively easy but it is always wise to move towards a solution. First and foremost, one has to consider the current situation and modern trends. In the large cities of Pakistan, working parents are quite visible and this statement changes the whole canvas. Parents are seen rushing to their jobs, dropping their kids to a facility where they will be entertained for some time and then they will hand over the kids to the maids or caretakers at home and this, according to them, is a successful completion of their day. No doubt, that the modern parents are aware of the necessity of finance in building a better life for their children, but what they fail to realize is that they can never create a bond with them once their children stop thinking about them.

Adding to this statement of bonding, one cannot deny that our ancestors had a very strong opinion about it, but if one digs deeply, one can see one’s parents not being so open to their parents and maintaining that certain “level of respect”. A level of respect no doubt is extremely important but when a child starts hiding the reality and start spending time with friends more than parents, then it is natural that there is a barrier between the parents and the child. Our parents were not just scared of their parents, but they also had to deal with the financial burden because only one person was feeding the whole family.

Considering this whole narrative, one cannot just blame the modern generation for the death of parenting; this is a non-stop series of false action transferred from one generation to the other. However, there is still hope if simple measures are taken for a better future.

Usually there are stereotypical traits associated with parenting and this also involves keeping your children on their knees. Creating a fuss about everything seems to be a very strong reason for some parents and dramatizing the whole situation makes them feel empowered. Fuss creates confusion and confusion requires clarification and for a child to clear his/her situation at such a young age is extremely stressful. Do not stress your child, just because you want to win a situation.

Parenting is a very important aspect of our society but unfortunately we have taken it for granted.

In the 21st century, when everything is visible on the internet, how can you expect your child to understand you without any reason? It is highly essential that if you are involving or stopping your child in something, you must give them a proper reason for it. Your reason will make you a logical being and children are willing to accept logic if given proper guidance. Do not use a sweet tongue or do emotional talk, just be true and real to your children to create a better understanding.

Furthermore, be a parent of your actions. We often see parents accusing others while doing the same thing themselves. This creates a bad impression on your child. Sometimes, as a parent you also tend to stop your child from doing something while you do the same. This is the death of parenting, as you tell them yourself not to behave in a certain way.

On the flipside, there are parents who believe that being friends with the child is the way out. You have to deal with the issue in a straightforward manner. If you lose your parenting, you lose your authority. Address the problem directly and give them the solution as well.

Parenting is a very important aspect of our society but unfortunately we have taken it for granted. For the sake of improvement, parenting sessions should be conducted frequently. In parenting workshops parents can find solutions when they are not able to find them on their own in their busy schedules. Counselors should also be involved. Each generation has its own set of rules. Our parenting will define our future generation and hence one has to take the full responsibility of being a parent.

Read More

One thought on “Parenting Explained”

  • husnain tarar
    June 26, 2020 at 11:03 pm
    Permalink

    Well done Miss Areeba for highlighting a serious issue that could damage our future. It’s certainly an eye opener for parents and no doubt “It’s not too late”. It’s fixable.

    Reply