Waiting for an Ataturk

The Turkish lira’s stunning rally from record lows earlier after the government launched a series of measures to prop up the currency, has left one soul in excruciating pain: Dr. Pervez Amirali Hoodbhoy, the Islamabad-based physicist and writer.

He had been so hopeful that the weak and weakening lira would finally sink Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan and save Ataturkian secularism from the jaws of Islam.

It was in such mood that he nodded off while watching Asma Shirazi of the Aaj TV talk show Faisla Aap Ka, and Nasim Zehra who hosts Nasim Zehra@8 on 24 News, who were being hosted by Saleem Safi on his Jirga talk show on GeoTV. The air was thick with constant diatribes being flung at prime minister Imran Khan.

Such was the state when Arnab Goswami, host of The Republic, a hardline Indian TV outlet, appeared to Hoodbhoy.

After a brief introduction of his guest, Goswami inquired, [“Professor Hoodbhoy, you are generally accepted as our neighboring country’s greatest crusader of secularism. If it could be assumed that like India, someday Pakistan turns secular, would practice of Islam be banned there. Under the shining leadership of our prime minister Modi, we are taking Hindu secularism to great heights and shutting off Islam and Christianity.”]

“Arnab, it is honor to be invited to your show. I started with secularism at home. I have raised by two daughters who describe themselves as ‘feminist’ and ‘socialist,’ which you know, in Pakistan basically considered as synonyms for atheism.

“In Pakistan, we were not that unlucky in the past, and had secularist governments like the one led by Pakistan Peoples Party co-chair Asif Ali Zardari and to some extent Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz’s president for life, Nawaz Sharif. Both were so engrossed in building up their offshore accounts that they never had time bother about religion, specifically Islam.”

Goswami has the next comment, [“I understand that like us, you too are deeply concerned about the closeness between your prime minister and the Turkish president Erdoğan.”]

“Yes, indeed, yes. It is a disaster. In Pakistan, Imran Khan is engaged in dismantling the education system that the British gave us. Not everyone needs and deserves the same education…”

Goswami interrupts, [“You are right. Our shining caste system, where every class has its clear boundaries.”]

“You are right. Now think, what is the wisdom of teaching algorithm to madrassah students, or to teaching Islam to private English medium schools’ students. Just for your interest, in mathematics and computer science, an algorithm is a finite sequence of well-defined instructions… Since Imran Khan announced his intent to impose upon us his Single National Curriculum, I have been warning all that it is simply the systematic Talibanization of the country’s education system… it has horrors like forcing children to memorize vastly greater amounts of religious materials, which is the Quran and hadith.

“Arnab, you were talking about Erdogan. He is the world’s major threat against secularism. I say that Pakistan’s misfortune is to have Imran’s soul brother Erdoğan in power today.

“Cats have 7 lives, but Erdoğan seems to have much more than that… I had been so hopeful that the tumbling lira would tumble Erdogan along with it, but it has firmed another 12% to 10.85 against the dollar, taking its overall weekly gains to more than 40% and putting it on course for the best weekly showing ever.

The currency got a boost this week after Erdoğan said the government and the Central Bank of the Republic of Turkey would guarantee certain local currency deposits against foreign exchange depreciation losses. He has projected himself as an Ertugrul-like figure…”

[“Dr. Hoodbhoy you mean the Turkish TV serial that Imran Khan ran on Pakistani TV seven days a week… One can imagine the anti-secular mind it has built in Pakistan…”]

“Arnab, I needn’t explain but everything is in plain sight. Instead of showing the world our heritage-based entrainment… like bhangra and all that, what Erdoğan and Imran are doing. They are joining with Malaysia to launch a TV to share Islam with others... even when their dearest Mahathir is no longer in power.

“You know Muslims have been traditionally waiting for the arrival of a leader like Salahuddin Ayyubi (Saladin the Great) to end hundreds of years of Crusades. Instead, they should be waiting for an Ataturk, so we are able send Islam to the closet.”

[“Thank you, Dr. Hoodbhoy, secular India awaits to embrace the secular Pakistan.”]