Party of Status Quo

Hillary and Bill, that is Hillary Rodham and President Bill Clinton have had another fight. The latest round erupted when they were discussing conservative radio host Hugh Hewitt’s opinion published in The Washington Post on January 2, titled “Will Trump run again? Will that stop these Republicans?”

“Bill, do you see what is happening to America… Trump’s hovering above our darkened skies… the vulture coming back for a second act… Bill, it is you and your @#%& Monica (Lewinsky)…”

“Hill… Hillary STOP lying… why are you blaming the poor innocent kid… Monica… a good Jewish girl… she even had her a bat mitzvah at Sinai Temple in Los Angeles… and not just that, Hill… on her brother’s bar mitzvah, she sang Sim Shalom on the bema.

“I know, how some anti-Semites were attacking her. There were accusations that a cabal of Jews had sent her to sow chaos in American politics.
“You know hiding under my desk… like playing hide and seek… all those intern kids around… she would tell me things like she can bake a mean challah. What more Jewish one can get!

“I remember reading a report of a speech she delivered in Manhattan like three years ago that her relationship to her heritage and religion, and her strong sense of family, is rooted in Judaism’s cultural traditions.

“What about the sleaze Huma [Abedin)… I mean her… I mean her ex-husband, (Anthony) Weiner. It was his sending all those naughty photos of his to those little girls that caused Republicans to malign you…”

“OK… Bill that’s enough. Huma already said that she shares the guilt over my losing the presidency… not only that, but she also said that she’s going to take it to her grave.

“I don’t want you get any new heart attacks. You know the real fault lies with these communi… I mean socialists that have and are permeating into our party… Bernie (Sanders) clones. The Democratic Party needs to be clear-eyed about what wins elections. This Squad… these radicals… let them call themselves ‘progressives’… Bill, they will hand Republicans, midterm victories on a platter!

“They’ve made us sitting ducks… an easy target to Republicans.”

“Hill, we need to lighten our blue… like you said, our party should be purpleish, with the hue the redder, the better!

“You know, I am rather skeptical if the party will let you run again against Trump in ’24. But don’t you think you are kind of frumpish… like a ragged…”
“Hill, put that lamp down, now!”

“SHUT UP Bill… oh, flying lamps, do cause heart attacks. Oh, yes! I’ve always looked an old hag to you… you had your Monicas and what not… should I list them… Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey… and who else… start your girls’ Rolodex…”

“Hill, I won’t shut up. I mentioned your agedness to draw attention that we should start working to field Chelsea… our Chelsea will be the first female president of the United States of America!”

“OK… OK… Bill, I will take that for Chelsea’s sake. But we need to realign our party to a reddish hue of purple… like a Republican Democratic Party… the Party of Status Quo.”

“Ah, Hill, I’ve got this great revelation right here. You know in her New Year’s awards list, the Queen… Ole Liz… gave Tony Blair an extra special knighthood… something to do with her garter or some suspenders… but anyway, he’s now Sir Anthony with a bar. Hill, I never saw you in a garter! Did I? If you remember that Tony re-did the Labor Party, which his funders said had veered too far to the left. We need a Blair to create a New Democratic Party like his New Labor which emerged after jettisoning Labor’s socialism

“Like I mentioned that some anti-Semites were saying that a cabal of Jews had sent Monica to sow chaos in American politics. I would say that a cabal of communists has sent this Squad of progressives… this Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ilhan Omar to rub our noses into the ground.

“We have to steer clear of ideological purity and all headline generating Twitter accounts.

“Like you said, we need some careful thinking about what wins elections. I say that we should become Manchin Democrats! We must be on Corporate America’s side… the winners.

“Hill, you have been his Senate colleague. You can talk to Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) about running with Chelsea. Let’s all say: Clinton-Manchin ’24 - Keeping Democrats Purplish Now and Forever.”