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Relationships

Late-Life Breakups

The growing phenomenon of ‘grey divorce,’ or when decades-long married couples call it quits, is a matter of concern

By Zara Maqbool | February 2026

‘Grey Divorce’ refers to the rising trend of couples divorcing after decades of being married, mostly in their 50s. One wonders why couples make this difficult choice after long marriages, when one imagines the partners to have resolved and accepted any dysfunctionality that existed in the relationship. In Asian culture, children are a big reason why even unhappy marriages go on forever, so for a couple to quit when children are mostly in their late teens and need a stable family structure more than any other time, couples seeking divorce come as a shock. Stereotypically, most divorces take place in the infancy of the relationship, but for a long time, divorces in the latter half of life were uncommon.

What are the common factors that have jump-started this trend? What is interesting is that most grey divorces are initiated by women, and in the last 50 years, women have gained greater economic independence and no longer want to continue in unfulfilling relationships and feel, ‘Why would I want to spend these years in a bad marriage? What am I being offered?’

More and more women these days are seeking financial independence by going back to school or work when their children go away to college. If economic reason was the main glue for the woman to continue in an unhappy relationship, financial independence gives them the confidence and ability not to continue and prefer living on their own rather than dragging the weight of dead marriages. For many centuries, women have been dependent on men for economic reasons, have accepted mistreatment if that’s a conflict within the relationship, but as they are becoming empowered and contributing to the household, they want the power that men assume to be distributed fairly within the family system. Women have felt marginalised and oppressed for a long time, and with money comes power, and walking out seems more effortless for them.

Another factor is that people have longer life expectancies, and there is an increasing awareness of taking care of one’s physical and mental health. People are going towards therapy, and if only one partner is working towards a healthier mindset, whereas the other refuses to change, the chances of the relationship ending are very high.


When children leave for college, the reality of stale marriages hits harder, and people are finding it harder to continue to be unhappy. Kids leaving can create a significant shift in the family dynamic, and the ‘empty nest syndrome’ creates a vacuum that feels impossible to fill within marriage. “For many couples, the children have been the source of their connection,” says Kimberley Best, RN, MA, a dispute resolution expert and founder of Best Conflict Solutions. “When the children are gone, some couples realize they have drifted apart and no longer have shared interests or a strong connection.” The couple starts to grow apart, and with the decrease in divorce stigma, and children no longer acting as a source of connection, divorce becomes the expected destination.

Infidelity, mostly by men but women as well, is another common growing phenomenon that seals the fate of the marriage in case it gets discovered. Most marriages, according to a study, end because of men’s infidelity, and most affairs start because of unmet emotional needs rather than physical needs.
Many couples go through midlife crises and change, and choosing separate paths seems safer than continuing in existing toxic dynamics. Having said that, a grey divorce has a profound emotional and psychological impact as the 50s is a time period of feeling settled, accepting, and peaceful, and a divorce is a trauma that inflicts the entire family.

Couples feel a sense of grief and loss when they let go of a familiar space. There is a growing indication of depression that couples experience post-divorce. As a couple therapist for the last ten years, this scribe firmly believes that couples who are in their 50s should give therapy a try and learn new ways of connecting, as they are no longer the same people who got married many years ago. Rather than looking at the disconnect as termination, they should get to know each other again. A common phrase I say to the couples is: ‘This way of being married is over. Start courting each other. Then decide if you want to get married again.’

Having said this, there is no right or wrong in seeking a divorce. Every relationship is unique, and if a couple decides to part ways, the only important thing to consider is how they end the marriage. They should honour the decades spent together and move away with respect and dignity. This is an important message for the children that, at times, relationships can stop working and continue to co-parent with mutual understanding. A divorce is a personal choice.

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