The Wealth Sustaining Living Bhutto

Pakistan Peoples Party chairperson Bilawal Bhutto-Zardari, commemorating his mother, former prime minister Benazir Bhutto’s 14th death anniversary, declared that the only solution to Pakistan’s problems was the fulfillment of her vision.

Wailing at her imperial mausoleum, neighboring dilapidated housing, he dutifully read what party bigwig Sherry Rehman had written for him in Romanized Urdu, and of course approved by his father.

It was hard to for him to read the lines, ‘your beloved Pakistan’ when he really wanted to say that ‘your widower has not earned his 10%, and your children’s offshore accounts have not grown since 2018, and we face difficult times.

Sindh information minister Saeed Ghani dutifully and delicately dried the master’s tears with a Givenchy silk handkerchief, opened a bottle of water and gently placed it at his lips.

Bilawal continued, “O Mother, we continue to serve your dream. Father has not disposed off the 16th century chateau in Normandy, northern France... the one built for a princess!

“O Mother, we continue to honor those who have been loyal to you. Our Sindh chief minister, you know Murad Ali Shah is the son of Syed Abdullah Ali Shah whom you favored as chief minister of Sindh (1993-96) and he had helped in disposing Uncle Mir… your mean brother, Mir Murtaza Bhutto, who trying to lay claim over the throne of Pakistan arguing that he was the rightful heir in a sexually transmitted democracy.

“O Mother, you certainly pray for us all. Just to recall that in April 2008… after 12 years of his killing on September 20, 1996, Sindh High Court’s Justice Pir Ali Shah cleared Father and Abdullah Shah of involvement in your power-aspirant brother’s murder – what a judge! In 2017, the Supreme Court fired him for corruption!

“O Mother, but even Uncle Murtaza had his good traits. He disposed off Uncle Mir Shahnawaz Bhutto… oh, being the eldest of siblings, he would have been another claimant to the throne. You would have fought on more than two fronts. But indeed, while Father is all-knowing, I could have also learnt from Uncle Mir Murtaza, who wisely kept a Syrian diplomatic passport and used this diplomatic immunity to evade arrest and jet out of France. They don’t make such geniuses anymore! [At this point, he hears a soft murmur: my baby, I requested the French to close the investigation, and after I became prime minister, I never asked them to reopen the case. Bilawal too responds: you told me that grandma, your mom, was boy obsessed and favored Mir Murtaza…yuck].”

Coming down to section where he had to read, ‘neither was there any freedom to speak nor the freedom to live in today's Pakistan’, he paused and muttered to himself, in today's Pakistan, neither is there any freedom to loot nor the freedom to send more deposits to offshore funds…

More so, he added, “the country is facing difficulties and the poor are not paying heed to our everlasting slogan roti, kapra aur makan (food, clothing and housing) ... Did you hear that in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, despite my staging a power show by celebrating our foundation day there on November 30 (2021), we won only two seats in the local government elections? [He hears a soft murmur: actually, my father’s slogan is the title of the Hindi action-drama, which was later produced by Manoj Kumar in 1974. My boy, in KP, you should have used the Pashtu version… sad, Sherry doesn’t know Pashtu.]

It is only a blessing of your father, the Sublime Martyr, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto that the people of interior Sindh still believe that he is alive, and they continue to support us... [once again, he again hears the soft murmur: So, start looking like your grandpa… I mean, my father… I heard that Dr. Faisal Akhlaq Ali Khan is a plastic surgeon with more than a dozen years of experience and to boot, he is chief of plastic and reconstructive surgery at Dow Medical… and do remember to take your grandpa’s … my father’s photos with you… you need to reshape so people see for themselves that Bhutto Zinda Hayy (Bhutto is living). Bilawal pauses to himself, of course, Thank you. Mother’s Day is every day. I will look like grandpa; I mean the Bhutto one!].

“O Mother, I know you had always talked about building a moderate Muslim democracy, based on secular principles… as outlined by our benefactors in USA! Thankfully, now we can import the package from Saudi Arabia, which crown prince Mohammad Bin Salman has gotten designed in U.K. and U.S.A. And yes, I will be seeing Dr. Faisal Khan for the looks of the Wealth Sustaining Living Bhutto.”