Perpetuating Real Americanism

It was her desire to “restore” the U.S. to the “Christian principles”, that Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Republican of course, one of Donald Trump's staunchest allies in Congress, had sought election.

What more appropriate action could be then to engineer an invite for Fox TV’s Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson, and Newsmax’s flagship show’s host Greg Kelly for a mini-townhall with her.

Of course, full effect is desired. The set is adorned with a prominent golden cross. Her assistants dressed as nuns and monks roam around. Everything was perfect to pin, except an over enthused minion had placed the toll-free number for callers on her Tok-tok. Little she knew that it was only for people who were to ask the desired questions.

Two cassock and surplice-wearing attendants lead her toward her seat. As agreed, she starts her opening statement, “Thank you Greg, Sean and Tucker for joining me for this great Christian event.

“Everyone desiring to opt for American citizenship will be required to adopt an American name, not these Plenkwin, Rama, Khan, or whatever. I want America to look and sound Christian! We are a Christian country created by and for Christians. I have entered Congress and I am working under our greatest president, Donald J. Trump. While he is making America Great Again, I am launching my campaign to make Christianity American Again. Just like there is a flag on every American rooftop, there will be cross of every lawn. Hey taxpayers, the taller your front yard cross, the bigger your tax refund!

“Greg, Sean and Tucker can you guess the next big thing, I am doing to make Christianity American Again…the American so-called Constitution, tattered by un-American and un-Christian amendments will be scrapped and the real American Constitution, the Bible will be proclaimed, the Law of the Land. And let me inform you that it will not be this or that Version, but the Donald J. Trump Tailored Version…”

A non-intended caller gets his voice through, and asks, “Representative Greene…”

She interrupts, “It is Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, Republican of Georgia…”

He continues, “My apologies. You mentioned that our new constitution will be the Donald J. Trump Tailored Version of the Bible. I haven’t seen it on sale, and even not a glimpse of its cover on Amazon! So, how different would it be…?”

She continues, “Don’t worry. The Donald J. Trump Tailored Version is being finalized at a special unit created at Mar-A-Lago and will be proclaimed on Sunday, January 21, 2024, by our 46th president, Donald J. Trump. And he shall take oath on it.

“Let me remind you that no more religion-free oathtaking. Like Democratic Representatives Rashida Tlaib of Michigan and Ilhan Omar of Minnesota aren't really official members of our Congress because they didn't take their oath of office on the Bible… hello, and what are Muslims doing in our Sacred House.

“Yes, the 20th is the oathtaking day, but we will move it to the day of the Christian Sabbath, which is Sunday. Henceforth all presidents will be sworn in on the second Sunday of January!”

Having put aside the caller, she continues with her opening statement, “I believe with all my heart if our lives and laws reflect the teachings of the King of Kings, the more peace, prosperity and freedom we will enjoy…”

Once again, another un-intended caller gets through, “Representative Greene…”

She interrupts and corrects the caller to say the full thing.

The caller complies and continues, “You said if our lives and laws reflect the King of Kings’ teachings, the more peace, prosperity and freedom we will enjoy… You even trashed Nancy Mace, a fellow Republican of South Carolina as ‘trash’… but the Bible… Mark 12:31 says, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself’.”

She responds, “Obviously, you still lack access to The Donald J. Trump Tailored Version, which says you can’t go about falling in love at random. You can’t be falling in love with a neighbor like Plenkwin, Rama, Khan, or whatever… your love will be authentic Christian, with names like Smith, Pinkerton, Bell, Trump, and Epstein, Weinstein…”

Another unintended caller breaks in, “Really! Weinstein… a Christian neighbor! I am Judith Weinstein, no relation to Harvey Weinstein, the sex-fiend, but I am as Jewish as the Torah…”

An angered Greene screams, “No Weinstein is Christian that you guys stole! It comes from the wine that goes with bread that forms the sacramental union… symbols of the body and blood of Jesus!”

A flustered Greene already called by three un-intended callers, shuts off the meeting, loudly proclaiming, “America is as Christian as Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, Republican of Georgia.”