‘I WANT TO KILL MYSELF’

Suicide is one of the ten major causes of death in most countries and is one of the biggest concerns for a mental health professional. There are many complex factors involved when it comes to understanding and diagnosing suicidal tendencies in an individual.

As multiple variables trigger self-harming tendencies, there is not one effective way that can be employed to prevent suicide. The family can play a significant role in its prevention, as it is an avoidable cause of death. Still, to be able to prevent suicide among its members, the family should rid itself of some myths associated with suicidal behavior to start with. Some of these myths are that those who want to end their life will not admit it, or those who say they will do it will not.

Some other myths that need to be addressed, for example, that suicide is an impulsive act caused by a powerful trigger in the mind that can lead to someone ending their life. This may be true in rare cases where, in the throes of extreme anger or hopelessness, someone decides to end their life, but even in that case, there is an undiagnosed or unaddressed mental health state that leads to that spontaneous decision. There are many more like this, so families should psycho-educate themselves about suicide.

So, how can suicide be prevented? The most important thing to notice and address is that if a loved one has signs of anxiety or depression, he is taken to a mental health professional. Medicine can do part of the job of regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, but therapy is a must to help the individual work through the cause of depression.

In case mental health is inaccessible, the family needs to be mindful of the risk factors that may increase the chances of suicide like severe depression, debilitating anxiety, history of mental health issues in the family, death of another member by suicide, failure in life, addiction, and life stress such as financial loss or unhappy relationship and so on.

There are multiple cases of suicides every day where the family expresses deep shock and is at a loss as to why would their son or daughter or a parent commit suicide. The more important question is how a family can assess and prevent if a loved one is planning to attempt suicide.

Coming to prevention, there are four principles that family can determine in the individual, which include desire, intent, capability, and buffers introduced by Thomas Joiner, an American psychologist whose theory proposes that “feeling like a burden and experiencing social alienation can create a desire to die, which may progress to intent when individuals begin planning or taking preparatory actions.” However, Joiner argues that acting on this desire requires overcoming the innate fear of death—a process he calls “acquiring the capability” to die. This capability develops through repeated exposure to painful or provocative experiences, such as previous suicide attempts, non-suicidal self-injury, trauma, or physical pain. Joiner’s groundbreaking work explains how suicidal ideation develops and why many with such thoughts do not attempt suicide—they have not acquired the capability.

So, one way to prevent suicide is to pay attention to the suicidal desire expressed by the individual, “I want to kill myself.” Desire refers to the individual expressing suicidal thoughts and feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, intolerable loneliness, or feeling like a burden to others. It is very important not to make light of such statements or mock them as they reflect a strong desire. Ask questions from a place of empathy if someone expresses this desire and offers support.